Have you ever been bullied? Most of us have been bullied one way or the other. Once in our life someone had tried to dominate us and step on our self respect.

Bullying happens when someone tries to dominate another person with the use of force. Are not we all guilty of trying to dominate others? Our “force” might take different shapes and forms, but it is still a “force” to take down others.

Those who try to dominate are actually small insecure people. They bully others to feel big. It is a way to cover up their smallness. They prey on the weak because they are to coward to pick somebody their own size.

I have seen this kind of bullying not only in school, but in relationships as well. It is always the insecure partner who does the bullying. The first part of the bullying starts by demoralizing his partner. After the partner is in a weakened state he can then proceed to dominating her. One of the most popular weapons of choice is blame. He will blame his partner with everything. And leaves himself immaculate. His partner will believe all his blames and thus she will submit herself to him.

These bullies typically target their partner’s self respect. Once they are able to step on that, it is a free reign for them. They now feel big knowing they are the ruler of the relationship.

Unfortunately, a lot of people let themselves get bullied in their relationships. They typically say, “I have accepted the good and the bad of my partner”. But what if the bad goes to worse? To worst? Would you still accept it? Why?

If a person loves you, or at least respects you, he will not try to dominate you. Love does not dominate, it serves. Love does not step on others but it lifts. Love’s hand is not open to grab and pull but to reach out and help.

If your partner is stepping down on you, it is time to step out.

You are not a door mat.

Do deserve a lot more.

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Do you value style more than substance? Are you just loud and no melody?

Most people these days have devoted their time, energy and money in showing off. Their lives revolve on being someone who they are not. They become so absorbed trying to live the lifestyle to which they do not belong. They love to be seen even though there is nothing to see (in them).

They love to be shocking to get attention. They are like colorful balloons. They look pretty on the outside but all air in the inside.

These people seem to have everything except themselves. In their pretending they have forgotten who they really are. They have come to be ashamed of their past life, friends and mostly their past selves. They will desperately protect their status quo even if their actual status is a big K.O.

But these pretenders cannot escape themselves in the end. Their shallow ways of life will soon evaporate. And then, they will only be left with themselves, their real selves. They will have to look at the man in the mirror whom they hate and deny.

On the contrary, a person of substance is a person who does not pretend. He knows who he is, no more no less. He is joyful of his strengths and aware of his weakness. He tries to improve himself, but he does it based on reality. He does not change his “acting”, but he changes his being. The more he changes himself for the better, the more people respect him. He does not need to pretend to be someone who is not because he knows it is useless.

A person of substance does not try to win the approval of others. But others try to win his approval. He does not have the desire to shock and awe others. He knows that silent waters run deep.

Stop pretending.

Be yourself.

Be your better self.

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Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

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Challenge #1: What if we visited the poor?

Today I had started my personal “Live The Love Challenge.” I am going to challenge myself to do little acts of love to others on a regular basis. My hope is to make this world a little more loving place one person at a time.

Today I visited a poor family in the poor side of the city. I brought some groceries and some goodies for the kids. This is Nicole’s family. She got 8 siblings. Her mom stays at home and her dad works as a contractual construction worker. Every now and then her mom does laundry for people to earn extra cash.

Muddy way path to Nicole’s house.

Their little house down a muddy slope.

Welcomed by Nicole!

Her other siblings enjoying the cookies I brought.

My parting shot!

A short clip of the kids

It was great to see the kids smiling and excited with my visit and the stuffs I brought. Making a child smile is always a priceless thing.

A lot of people I know now suffer from deep confusion. They are sometimes so confused that they have no clue what they are confused about. In most cases the source of confusion is the lack of direction in life. Life seems to be a big blur.

One thing I have observed with people who suffer deep confusion is a lack of focus in living their life. Their life is not centered. They are filled with mixed up and even contradicting ideas which they try to build their life on.

I think we can learn a little bit of life in photography. In taking pictures, if you don’t calibrate and focus the center properly the whole picture will be blurred. No amount of shots will make the picture clear until the center is focused.

I think most of our confusion comes from not seeing a clear picture of who we are and what our life suppose to be. Most of us take random shots in life hoping “to get the picture.”

How can we find our focus or center?

To find our deep center is to find a deep Person. Jesus. He is supposed to be the center of our life. If our center is other than Jesus, we are un-centered, unfocused, blurred. We must keep our eyes focused on Jesus, for He is the only one who can bring back the focus in our lives.

Pope John Paul II said that Jesus reveals humanity to himself. Jesus is the Logos. He is the image of the living God. He is the image that we are supposed to look like.

God made man in His image and likeness.

To focus our life on Jesus is to focus our life, period! If we want to see ourselves and our life more clearly we must start making Jesus the center of our very being. Our lives should revolve in doing His will and not our personal plans. We must recalibrate our lives if we want to have a clear vision of it. Everyday we must commit ourselves in asking God to reveal his will and ask for the grace to do it. We need to discern everyday what God’s will is for us.

Only Jesus can show us the “Big Picture” of life.

Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

*If you want to repost this blog please include “ From Inspirationalblogs.com “ at the end.

Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

*If you want to repost this blog please include “ From Inspirationalblogs.com “ at the end.

You can follow daxx at Twiiter at twitter.com/daxxbondoc

The modern man seems to desire success more than ever. He has pursued it with much zeal and passion. He has gone to a lot of sacrifice in the name of “success.”

But only a few who actually thought about the success they are pursuing. Most of us pursue success and not really have a clear end goal.

Why I am doing this? Why am I seeking success? Questions few actually ask and meditate. To fail to ask this question is to waste a life time of effort.

In us, lies an inherent longing for happiness, joy and eventually eternal bliss. God has left this desire for joy in our soul so that we will seek him, for only He can fully make us happy. He is the eternal bliss Himself. Look into yourself and you will see that most of your actions are fueled by the desire for joy.

When we look at it, we pursue success to be happy. Success is just the means to find joy.  Some say that they pursue success to be fulfilled, but even fulfillment is accompanied by joy. That is how you can say to yourself you are fulfilled, when you have a sense of joy in you.

Our problem today is that we have sought the means and not the end. We pursue success for its own sake. We seem to be obsessed with the process and not the product. We sought wealth crazily to only find in the end that all our possessions do not make us happy. At that point we are left with the question “What now?” It is a question that has driven many to despair.

To try to be successful for the sake of “being successful” is to have an unsubstantial goal. Success is the process of buying the food, not the food itself. To get stuck in the process of buying the food is to end up hungry.

Being an accomplished person is not as the same as being a successful person. Hitler was able to accomplish to move Germany to war and kill millions of people. I have not seen Hitler’s name in any “success” books.

Can you consider a miserable person successful?

If you are miserable in pursuing and attaining success, then you just have defeated your purpose. All your accomplishments will mean nothing if you are not happy. You might have the resources to numb the pain, but it does not take it away.

“What profit a man to gain the whole world and loses his soul?” Jesus said.

Success is a tool for joy. It is a tool for love as well, for only love can bring us joy. If you really want to be successful in this life and the next, then you must make love your end goal.

If loving God and loving your neighbor is the motivation and end goal of your pursuit for success, then your success will be substantial and joyful. It is a success that you can take with you on the next life.

So what is your reason in pursuing success?

Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

*If you want to repost this blog please include “ From Inspirationalblogs.com “ at the end.

Most of us are tired with our search for love. Our search has become a vicious cycle of disappointment and of falling out of one relationship to the next. Still we seek and believe that we will find a love that will completely satisfy us. Something inside us tells us that the unconditional love we are looking for exist, even if the evidence seem to says otherwise.

“Jesus came to the Samaritan Town of Sychar … Jacob’s well was there and Jesus, tired from the journey, sat down by the well.  It was about the sixth hour. A Samaritan woman came to draw water.  Jesus said to her, “Give me to drink… How can you ask me for a drink? for Jews have nothing to do with Samaritans.”” – Jn  4: 1-30

This Gospel tells of a Samaritan woman who goes everyday to get water from the well. On this particular day, she finds Jesus at the well before her.

Many of us feel like the Samaritan. We cannot seem to find the love that will satisfy us. Everyday the woman goes to the well to quench her thirst, but then gets thirsty again. It is the same with us, we jump from one relationship to the next in search of love. Yet it leaves us still thirsty for love at the end of the day.  Many of us are weary from hopping from one person to the next. And there are others who have totally given up hope of finding this kind of satisfying love.

In our search for love in all the wrong places, Jesus has been waiting for us. Jesus, who is Love made flesh, knows that He alone can give the satisfying love we are looking for.

Unfortunately many of us doubt that Jesus can satisfy us or doubt that He will love us because of our unworthiness. Like the Samaritan woman we voice our doubts to Jesus,  “How can you ask me for a drink? …for Jews have nothing to do with Samaritans.” Samaritans were considered unclean during those times. We share the same unbelief the Samaritan woman was experiencing. Is Jesus taking to me, a sinner? Does Jesus want to have an intimate relationship with an unclean person?

Jesus replied to her, ‘If you but knew the gift of God, and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.’

Jesus wants us to experience His unconditional love but we must first meet Him. We must first encounter him in prayer. And when we encounter Jesus, He will say to us, “Give me your heart.” He wants the heart that you have given to so many empty things, except to Him. Jesus can never fill our hearts with His love if we do not give it to Him.

“He would have given you living water.”

On of the most famous line in the Christian world is what St. Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee, O Lord”

Give your heart to Jesus, and He will give you the love you are looking for.

Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

*If you want to repost this blog please include “ From Inspirationalblogs.com “ at the end.

I have noticed that there are a lot of book about gaining self-confidence. There are also a lot of articles and talks on how to boost your confidence. If there are so many books, articles and talks on this topic, it means that there is a big market wanting such information. It also means that there are a lot of people who want to gain self-confidence.

Our society is plague with insecurity (which I personally blame advertising and the media for such) that self-confidence has become a precious commodity.

Self-confidence is a good thing. It helps one person to be positive and accomplish more. But I also believe it  has its limits.

Self-confidence is based on your “self.” It is based on what you have or what you can do. If you are honest with yourself, you know you have limits. You know that your self-confidence can only go so far. To go further is an illusion which many pop-psychologists preach these days.

There is something better than self-confidence. Jesus-confidence!

Jesus-confidence is better because our confidence is based on Jesus who is God. We all have limits but Jesus does not. When we put our trust on Jesus we can move mountains. What is impossible for man is possible for God.

Having a Jesus confidence also makes you more courageous. You know that you are being supported by someone bigger than you. You know that God’s grace can accomplish anything, so you are not easily disheartened when you encounter a mountain on your way. You know Jesus can move the mountain or lift you up to fly cross it. It also makes you more courageous because you know that Jesus will catch you if you fall or make a mistake.

Having a Jesus-confidence is also better because He does NOT change and we humans do. Self-confidence is based on your state or what you can do, but that is dependent on a lot of factors, like your health for one. If those factors are taken away from you, could still be self-confident?

It is hard to put your confidence in shifting sands. We are such fragile beings. Our self-confidence may shatter with one disease or accident. Or even just plain old age. But Jesus is eternal. He is unchangeable. He is the Rock we can build our confidence on. Jesus can still make us great even if we are stripped of all our strengths. It will be His strength that will lift us up.

I leave you with a beautiful passage from St Paul.

“I CAN DO EVERYTHING through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13

Now THAT is confidence!

Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

*If you want to repost this blog please include “ From Inspirationalblogs.com “ at the end.